Who’s God…

I am…

… or at least you would think I am…

by my puffed up righteousness it is obvious….

I AM!!!!
or maybe…
just maybe…
You have eyes that see…

See that I truly am NOT!!!

As I charge on with judgements and violence in the name of righteousness…

I can see my spirit really is NOT…

Who’s God have I tried to imitate…
Who’s God chooses death over life…
Who’s God chooses control over freedom…
Who’s God have I looked at and become…

This God is external….
This God is fabricated to inflate human desire and ego…

created… not The Creator…

So this morning as I condemn a woman for not picking up her dog’s poop off the grass…. no really!!!!…. I reveal my violent spirit…

Still I look further…

It doesn’t seem that long ago that I killed the slugs in my yard… this morning when I look at the slugs in my yard I am filled with joy and wonder… I’m so glad they are eating my sunflowers… and I wonder how they found there way into my yard!!!

How can this be in the same breath that I am filled with contempt for another human being…

Hhhhmmmm… perhaps I am somewhere between hatred and love; and death and life…

Perhaps ultimately I really am…

I am becoming…

I am not yet fully me….

I am in the middle of the transformation….

where I am forced to live in the paradox of my humanity…

And this is the way it was meant to be….

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